The Boys Are Back In Town

      Farmgirl FINALLY brought a boy home. She went and picked up Louis from a neighboring town and brought him home to play for the month. Louis is a very young male...smaller than the three matriarchs of the herd, but he knew exactly what to do. The following is rated PG13.

     Belle and Tiny were grazing happily in the pasture when a fascinating new smell drifted up. "Yes...yes it is!" screamed Tiny. "It's Eau d'Buck! And it's coming closer!" For those of you who have never smelled Eau d'Buck, it is not something you can really describe to the uninitiated. Think of a combination of old urine, fresh urine, and semen all mixed up together with goat fur. Yea, it makes Farmgirl really glad she's not a goat...and that she doesn't have a buck. It's so strong that Tiny and Belle could smell it coming long before we pulled in the drive, and they got everybody else out of the barn and waiting at the gate.

      Louis, being young and relatively small, had never been allowed to play with girls before. But experience is not necessary when instinct kicks in. He got one whiff of Tiny, who was in heat, and within 2 minutes of unloading him, they were going at it. Belle was furious. "First of all, you slut, you're supposed to play hard to get. At least make him chase you!" Tiny had presented her backside to him as soon as he was out, and even wagged her tail to make sure he got a good nose-full. Belle continued her tirade. "Second of all, I AM the herd queen, which means I get dibs!" But no one paid her any attention. It reminded Farmgirl of a jilted girlfriend following her ex and his new girlfriend around, trying to get him back...with an Alanis Morrisette song playing in the background.

    After about an hour of Tiny and Louis having their party, and Belle whining about it being her turn, Louis decided to let her play. "Oh, you want some of this?" he said in his best sleazy voice. "How YOU doin?" And Belle finally got her turn. Socks never went into full heat, but Louis doesn't really get that "no means no," so she got a turn, as well. Farmgirl isn't sure about Bailey and Shadow. Since Shadow feels that she's too good for anyone to touch her, AND she is lightening fast, it's doubtful that Louis managed to have his way with her. We'll know in a couple of months.

    Louis went home the week before Christmas, and Farmgirl was SO glad to be rid of him. It is grosser than gross to watch him test for hormones by sticking his head in a stream of doe pee. YUCK! Then when Farmgirl feeds everyone, he likes to scratch his head on her pants, which is the LAST thing she wants. I'm sure the unfriendly neighbors got a good laugh watching her try to feed while running around the trough and Louis giving chase. Artificial insemination is looking better and better. 

   But the girls are feeling oh so satisfied, and they get expensive alfalfa hay for the next 4 months to support the pregnancy (it's like folic acid for goats). Farmgirl is feeling oh so satisfied, too, because she outsmarted mother nature...babies will come in Spring instead of Winter!!! No more sitting in the barn in the middle of the night when it's 20 degrees, waiting for labor!

Happy New Year!